marmalarma (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} marmalarma) wrote,@ 2006-02-06 23:31:00 |
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Spring Break Cancun Highlights....becase i cant remember it all
Ok junior year me and 10 of my friends decided to go onto spring break in Cancun. We were all broke but we managed to scrape together whatever we could to make this trip happen and booze it up. Here are some of the high points of the trip, well the ones i can remember at least.
-We check into the hotel and our rooms arent ready yet. So we leave our bags at the front desk and head to the pool to get some drinks. B and I immediately take off our shirts and start playing ping pong, however the ocean breeze prevents us from playing an actal game. Well eventually we are at the bar in the hotel having a few drinks when B decides he wants to score some weed. So he asks the bartender, "yo quero moulta?" (translation : do you have weed? i dont know if the spelling is right all i know is what i heard him say and what it meant, i dont know spanish so if its wrong go fuck urself) The bartender gets this confused look in his eyes and says "moulta", B says "yea yea moulta". The bartender then says "moulta is for girls, u want manly drug, eh?", B wisely starts to get a little suspicious and asks "like what?". The bartender doesnt say a word but just holds out his arm and starts slapping his forearm with two fingers while laughing. B and I exchange scared looks and take our drinks to the other bar.
-The first night there I decide to let loose a little bit and get herbified (drunk beyond belief). It's time for dinner so Sticks brings me up to the room to change out of my bathing suit. I then proceed to take off my bathing suit in the middle of the room right in front of him and shake my package while yelling "caliente" (this translates to HOT in spanish). Sticks starts giggling at the sight of my 6'3" skinny naked ass standing there shaking my genitals while yelling in a forieng language, he then decides this is a great photo opportunity. I realize what is happening and wrestle his camera phone away from him to delete the pic.......still naked. Sticks realizing that a drunk naked herby is about to descend upon him throws the camera away from him in defeat. Again I emerge victorious. I celebrate by passing out in the shower in a puddle of my own vomit, then wake up still drunk and take a cab to where the bar crawl is with all of my friends that i had missed.
-We are all riding the bus to a bar and one of the girls we went with is short so she is kicking her feet going "wee this is fun i have so much leg room", she then looks over at me and says "it must suck to be you herby". Well I hadn't heard her first revalation so for all I knew she had just looked over and layed an enourmous beat upon me, so what was I to do? Respond in kind my friends, respond in kind. I turn to her and say in all seriousness, "your thighs look fat". She replies in a haughty tone, "well that doesnt bother me". To which I reply "well it should because its the truth". DING! I make up with her later at the club by telling her (after she shoots me down), "your not going to do any better than me babe, so you mine as well just settle."
-We are all at a club one night and the mexican bartender walks over with a fifth of tequila and a whistle. He starts blowing his whistle and asks who wants body shots. B looks over to this group of girls we met earlier that night and picks one out and asks "how bout it" she says "no, no". B then proceeds to lay her down on the bench, pull up her shirt while the mexican is blowing his whistle nonstop and pouring tequila on her stomach. B licks it all off and the girl dazed at having just been taken advantage looks questioningly at B. B sinply replies "oh my god, im sorry did you say no? I thought u said GO! GO!" B tops the night off by jumping on a cage with a girl dancing in it and starts humping it like a monkey.
-At the club one night i wander away from the herd to pick up some girls. I start dancing with this one girl and her friend and pull out my pantented move of bending over and shoving my butt into them, u know pretending like im a girl and theyre a guy, they all get a kick out of this and the girl im dancing with tells me "your crazy". I say "you wanna see crazy ill show u crazy" then proceed to bend her over the stage and humping the shit outta her. We start to make out a bit and she leaves for the bathroom and tells me to wait right there for her return. It is at this point that i realize that i have no money for a cab, nor do i remember where my hotel is, and i am pretty sure at this time i didnt even know the name of my hotel. So sadly i walk back to my group of friends in defeat.
alcohol- 109480849584 Herby- 0
-As a little prelude to this next story you need to know that everyday me and B were hungover so bad from a combination of cheap tequila and sun. So we did what anyone else would do, stayed in and watched jerry springer and maury. Now in case you didnt already know this nothing helps a hangover better than watching a midget fight a 400 lb. black lady because she is having thier transvestite lover's kid. And to top it all off each show ends with girls flashing the audience for their "Jerry Beads." Exit prelude, enter story. So we are at this Mardi Gras party at some bar and there is a hot body contest on stage. The girls are dancing and it is nothing spetacular as none of them are getting naked, this fueled by the fact that i had been drinking all day angers me greatly. So i nudge B and start yelling "show your tits" over and over again in classic Jerry Springer style. Eventually the whole crowd joins in. I feel like god at having incited a mob. Show the girl on stage eventually takes off her top only to have 2 security guards come over and stand in front of her and make her put her top back on while the announcer tells the audience that no nudity is allowed. OK, this is fucking mexico, this is spring break, this is a mardi gras party, and this is a FUCKING HOT BODY CONTEST!! What the fuck do you mean no nudity. I do what any other red blooded american college student who had incited a riot would do. I turned the riot ugly. I started yelling "boo this man! BOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd follows suit while proceeding to pelt the announcer with beer bottles and cans. Having done my job I wander off to urinate somewhere.
-sidenote: I later returned to my friends that night to tell them if they have to shit dont use the one 4th from the right because i pissed over the TP and all over the seat.....this was followed by me telling them to not use the 3 next to that one also.
-This story also takes place at the Mardi Gras party. Suds wanders off and suddenly finds himself all alone in the middle of about 1000 people. Then is happens. Some drunken frat boy shoulders into him and here is the conversation that follows
Fratboy-apologize
suds- huh?
fratboy- you bumped into me apologize
suds- stop being childish dude u bumped into me
(Enter 4 of Fratboys friends)
friends- you gonna apologize or what
(here suds is thinking which one of these mother fuckers am i gonna have to punch first before they beat my ass)
now before i continue you must understand that while suds is arabic he is dark skinned and has often been confused for black, see this picture http://community.webshots.com/photo/333
this being coupled with the fact that at the time he had a gigantic fro.
now back to the story
So suds is about to get jumped by 5 fratboys when suddenly.........
out jumps 4 huge ass brothas
brothas-yo we gonna have a problem here or what
suds-YEA!!!
fratboys-no man were cool
(fratboys slink away like dogs with their tails between thier legs)
it was like someone literally turned on the black signal and some brothas came to suds rescue.
I top the trip off by peeing all over the trash can in our bathroom and telling the hotel about it on the comment card they give us, along with the room number knowing that it will be too late for them to stop the cleaning lady from touching my urine but not too late for them to let her know the bad news. hey im an asshole so sue me.
Ok junior year me and 10 of my friends decided to go onto spring break in Cancun. We were all broke but we managed to scrape together whatever we could to make this trip happen and booze it up. Here are some of the high points of the trip, well the ones i can remember at least.
-We check into the hotel and our rooms arent ready yet. So we leave our bags at the front desk and head to the pool to get some drinks. B and I immediately take off our shirts and start playing ping pong, however the ocean breeze prevents us from playing an actal game. Well eventually we are at the bar in the hotel having a few drinks when B decides he wants to score some weed. So he asks the bartender, "yo quero moulta?" (translation : do you have weed? i dont know if the spelling is right all i know is what i heard him say and what it meant, i dont know spanish so if its wrong go fuck urself) The bartender gets this confused look in his eyes and says "moulta", B says "yea yea moulta". The bartender then says "moulta is for girls, u want manly drug, eh?", B wisely starts to get a little suspicious and asks "like what?". The bartender doesnt say a word but just holds out his arm and starts slapping his forearm with two fingers while laughing. B and I exchange scared looks and take our drinks to the other bar.
-The first night there I decide to let loose a little bit and get herbified (drunk beyond belief). It's time for dinner so Sticks brings me up to the room to change out of my bathing suit. I then proceed to take off my bathing suit in the middle of the room right in front of him and shake my package while yelling "caliente" (this translates to HOT in spanish). Sticks starts giggling at the sight of my 6'3" skinny naked ass standing there shaking my genitals while yelling in a forieng language, he then decides this is a great photo opportunity. I realize what is happening and wrestle his camera phone away from him to delete the pic.......still naked. Sticks realizing that a drunk naked herby is about to descend upon him throws the camera away from him in defeat. Again I emerge victorious. I celebrate by passing out in the shower in a puddle of my own vomit, then wake up still drunk and take a cab to where the bar crawl is with all of my friends that i had missed.
-We are all riding the bus to a bar and one of the girls we went with is short so she is kicking her feet going "wee this is fun i have so much leg room", she then looks over at me and says "it must suck to be you herby". Well I hadn't heard her first revalation so for all I knew she had just looked over and layed an enourmous beat upon me, so what was I to do? Respond in kind my friends, respond in kind. I turn to her and say in all seriousness, "your thighs look fat". She replies in a haughty tone, "well that doesnt bother me". To which I reply "well it should because its the truth". DING! I make up with her later at the club by telling her (after she shoots me down), "your not going to do any better than me babe, so you mine as well just settle."
-We are all at a club one night and the mexican bartender walks over with a fifth of tequila and a whistle. He starts blowing his whistle and asks who wants body shots. B looks over to this group of girls we met earlier that night and picks one out and asks "how bout it" she says "no, no". B then proceeds to lay her down on the bench, pull up her shirt while the mexican is blowing his whistle nonstop and pouring tequila on her stomach. B licks it all off and the girl dazed at having just been taken advantage looks questioningly at B. B sinply replies "oh my god, im sorry did you say no? I thought u said GO! GO!" B tops the night off by jumping on a cage with a girl dancing in it and starts humping it like a monkey.
-At the club one night i wander away from the herd to pick up some girls. I start dancing with this one girl and her friend and pull out my pantented move of bending over and shoving my butt into them, u know pretending like im a girl and theyre a guy, they all get a kick out of this and the girl im dancing with tells me "your crazy". I say "you wanna see crazy ill show u crazy" then proceed to bend her over the stage and humping the shit outta her. We start to make out a bit and she leaves for the bathroom and tells me to wait right there for her return. It is at this point that i realize that i have no money for a cab, nor do i remember where my hotel is, and i am pretty sure at this time i didnt even know the name of my hotel. So sadly i walk back to my group of friends in defeat.
alcohol- 109480849584 Herby- 0
-As a little prelude to this next story you need to know that everyday me and B were hungover so bad from a combination of cheap tequila and sun. So we did what anyone else would do, stayed in and watched jerry springer and maury. Now in case you didnt already know this nothing helps a hangover better than watching a midget fight a 400 lb. black lady because she is having thier transvestite lover's kid. And to top it all off each show ends with girls flashing the audience for their "Jerry Beads." Exit prelude, enter story. So we are at this Mardi Gras party at some bar and there is a hot body contest on stage. The girls are dancing and it is nothing spetacular as none of them are getting naked, this fueled by the fact that i had been drinking all day angers me greatly. So i nudge B and start yelling "show your tits" over and over again in classic Jerry Springer style. Eventually the whole crowd joins in. I feel like god at having incited a mob. Show the girl on stage eventually takes off her top only to have 2 security guards come over and stand in front of her and make her put her top back on while the announcer tells the audience that no nudity is allowed. OK, this is fucking mexico, this is spring break, this is a mardi gras party, and this is a FUCKING HOT BODY CONTEST!! What the fuck do you mean no nudity. I do what any other red blooded american college student who had incited a riot would do. I turned the riot ugly. I started yelling "boo this man! BOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd follows suit while proceeding to pelt the announcer with beer bottles and cans. Having done my job I wander off to urinate somewhere.
-sidenote: I later returned to my friends that night to tell them if they have to shit dont use the one 4th from the right because i pissed over the TP and all over the seat.....this was followed by me telling them to not use the 3 next to that one also.
-This story also takes place at the Mardi Gras party. Suds wanders off and suddenly finds himself all alone in the middle of about 1000 people. Then is happens. Some drunken frat boy shoulders into him and here is the conversation that follows
Fratboy-apologize
suds- huh?
fratboy- you bumped into me apologize
suds- stop being childish dude u bumped into me
(Enter 4 of Fratboys friends)
friends- you gonna apologize or what
(here suds is thinking which one of these mother fuckers am i gonna have to punch first before they beat my ass)
now before i continue you must understand that while suds is arabic he is dark skinned and has often been confused for black, see this picture http://community.webshots.com/photo/333
this being coupled with the fact that at the time he had a gigantic fro.
now back to the story
So suds is about to get jumped by 5 fratboys when suddenly.........
out jumps 4 huge ass brothas
brothas-yo we gonna have a problem here or what
suds-YEA!!!
fratboys-no man were cool
(fratboys slink away like dogs with their tails between thier legs)
it was like someone literally turned on the black signal and some brothas came to suds rescue.
I top the trip off by peeing all over the trash can in our bathroom and telling the hotel about it on the comment card they give us, along with the room number knowing that it will be too late for them to stop the cleaning lady from touching my urine but not too late for them to let her know the bad news. hey im an asshole so sue me.
