Chi-town you know how we get down....
So friday night we go out to the shark, because we now hate ricks(read last story). It turns out to be just another ordinary night at the bar, you know non-stop shots, hitting on skeezers, schroeder going behind the bar to pour us free drinks. Then the time comes for us to leave so me and schroeder end up catching a cab(one of the full conversion van cabs). We make it back to my apt and as we are pulling up schroeder tells me that hes not gonna pay this fuck and hes gonna make a run for it. Well that is fine and dandy for him since he is sitting right next to the door but I am in the far back seat. So the cab stops and he proceeds to get out and book it, fall after taking about two steps and get up and sprint off, meanwhile I am edging out of the cab while the cabdriver is yelling at us. I finally get out and make a run for it, I come upon a small crop of trees and suddenly I see a rather thick rope tied between them, QUICK DECISION, I decide to just run right through it. It is about thigh high and I proceed to flip head over heels over the rope, then I try to crawl away when the cabby catches up to me.

cabby-what the fuck do you think your doing
me-i dunno man i was chasing after that kid, whats going on right now
cabby-pay me for the ride
me- sure np (ship him a 10)
cabby-dont ever try and get a ride from me again (as he is walking away)
me-dont you fucking talk down to me you drive a goddamn cab

so I make it back to the apt. and start chatting online trying to get any girl I can to come over and hop on a one way train to pound-town. None accept but one girl who lives in Chicago offers up the idea that I should drive there and hang out. Although I am sure she didn't mean that moment that is how I took it. I call up this other girl I know who lives there and tell her I am coming out (its 3am at this point and I am obliterated). I run and pack my bags and come out of my room in my coat, scarf, and hat (because chicago is rather windy), with a full suitcase and announce to my roommates that I am leaving for chicago. They point out that I am rather drunk, the gears start working in my head and I realize that not only would me driving to chicago be highly illegal and dangerous but there is also a 99% chance I'd pass out at the wheel. So I put on my poker face and tell Gordie he should come with me, he is hesitant so I tell him that I am driving there no matter what and he is too good of a friend to let me drive drunk (I most definately would not have driven myself.....I hope). He finally agrees and I call up mandy to get her address and we write down directions and head off. About 30 minutes into the drive I realize that I have forgotten my phone and ask gordie if he has his, he tells me he lost his a week ago, I think about this for a second and decide that he is just playing a joke on me and really does have his phone, because well if he doesn't we should probably turn back and that would just be stupid. I pass out and we eventually make it to chicago after deciphering my directions which look like they were written by a 4 yr. old and have every street spelled at least 2 letters wrong. It is around this point that I realize that I have forgotten to write down her address also, so now I am banking on just recognizing her place after having been there only once before. We manage to find the right place and knock on her door.....no answer. We get some breakfast at a dinner and come back.....no answer. We sleep in the car till 11am and I go and buy some underwear (didnt pack any/wear any)....thank the lord someone answers. I proceed to go into her room and wake her up telling her, "i'm here." She starts laughing, i'm still not entirely sure she believed that I was coming. I begin to realize that maybe it is rude to drive 4 hours away and arrive at your friends with almost no notice in the wee hours of the morning to stay there and party for the night so I rack my brain for what I can tell mandy we can do to make her not realize this. I obviously ask her if she wants to go shopping. She seems happy, I am one tricky devil. We end up doing a bit of shopping and come back for naps as we have been up all night driving or sleeping in my small ass truck. We wake up and go and get some booze with her roommate the mongester. We go out for dinner and get some margeritas at this mexican place, and her friend Maggie proceeds to get fall down drunk after 1, I guess thats the perks of being a 100 lbs. soaking wet, and barely over 5ft tall, damn you tolerance, damn you. We head back to their place and play some family guy drinking games, the rules range from drinking everytime peter gets hurt to drinking anytime stewie plots on how to kill lois. We go out to Mandy's bar to grab some mroe drinks as she has to work until 2 tonight. She points out the guy she has a crush on, he is 45 years old and has 4 kids or so thats what the rumors are(he was really 30 with no kids, but still looked like a douchebag). The night turns out to be less than exciting after this. We make the mongster hit on this girl who he got a bj from then took our her friend, and she was there with another guy, he gave it a good effort tho. We head over to the club next door when mandys bar closes and I make her do 4 jagerbombs in a row to catch up. I then proceed to get into a dance-off with a small asain girl, this time I believe that I won. I now think that my dancing skills can only come out in dark clubs playing shitty house music. I top the night off by chugging buffalo sauce when we get back to her place and passing out in her bed. We didn't fool around or anything but damn was that buffalo sauce tasty.