My First Break-up
So i had been dating this girl for 6-7 months now in my sophomore year of college. We were kinda serious but we fought a good amount. I think this stemmed from the fact that she was crazy, no i mean the woman was literally insane. She would tell me she wanted more space then call me up later that night to hang out. She would say she wanted to break up with me then come over the next day and bring me taco bell and apologize (i by the way love taco bell). The woman was nuts plain and simple. So summer time rolls around and we had been fighting on and off because she was being a bitch for the past month or so. So one night i come home from a short stint across the border where i had partaken in a few cocktails with some friends of mine. So needless to say i was hammered. On the 30 min ride home the GF calls me up and asks me to come over, im thinking jackpot, i got drunk and im getting laid tonight sweet. So i get to her house about 30 minutes later and shes sleeping. I wake her up and she tells me to go home. I am slightly confused by this as she had just called me to come over. She explains she has to work tomorrow so she needs to sleep, i tell her thats fine just move over cause im sleeping at her place tonight as i am drunk and dont want to drive home. She yells at me and tells me to leave so i bring up the fact that she is a bitch and has been so for the past month. This leads her into the tirade where she tells me blah blah blah, i stopped loving you months ago, blah blah blah, thats why ive been a bitch, blah blah blah, i wanna break up, blah blah blah random insult thrown in there directed at me....so right now im just sitting there stunned as she is going on and on. Since i am kind of drunk i dont really have my wits about me to comeback with any spiteful remarks so halfway through her little spiel i decide im gonna spit in this bitches face. So there she is laying into me and there i am working up this massive loogie in my mouth. So she ends her little rant with a clever little phrase "so what do you think about that!" i respond with "what do you think about this bitch!" and spit the enourmous loogie i have been working on for 5 minutes into her face. Now this thing was massive. Im pretty sure it took up half of her face when it hit, and oh did it hit. If we were playing battleship i wouldve just sunk her destroyer, it was that good of a shot. So anyways having just stated my point in our arguement i decided to get up and leave. She follows me outside and starts yelling "ill fucking kill you" "i hate you" "how dare you", while i just yell "get the fuck back inside bitch!" it is about now that i realize that this is like something out of jerry springer, and if any of you have seen the show before you can understand my thinking in assuming that the cops were gonna get called at any point for noise disturbance. Keeping in mind i was drunk and underage at the time i got into my car and floored it all the way home. And that my friends is the story of my first break-up.

moral of the story- dont break up with me while im drunk unless u like getting spat on.