Why you shouldnt let me crash at your house....
So a bunch of us are home from state for the weekend and we decide to meet some friends at a bar by greektown to booze it up. I end up carpooling with adam and his gf crissa so i can get wasted and not have to drive home. The night goes according to plan and i do indeed get wasted. The night is highlighted by me going up to any girl i know and bending over while proceeding to "booty bounce" them. They are eating it up, or at least im drunk enough to think they are. Anyways we are driving home and in my drunken stupor i realize that i can't pass out at adam's place because hes gonna wanna nail his g/f. So being the quick thinker that i am i call up Nicole who also happens to be home for the weekend. Here is the next few phone conversations.

me- Hey
Nicole- whats up babe
me- im coming over
nicole- sure
me- i gotta come over because i cant stay at adams tonight
nicole- sure
me- im sorry but i cant stay at adams because he is there with his girlfriend
nicole- sure
me- ok thanks ill be over in a bit


5 minutes later i call her back
nicole-hey babe
me-WHAT!!!
nicole-huh?
me-i said ill be over in 5 minutes god!
nicole-uhhh ok
me-why are u calling me now
nicole-no u called me
me- oh so u dont want me to come over now, fine ill just walk home
nicole- no you can come over
me- fine just stop calling me ill be over in a bit

sidenote- i did honest to god believe that she called me, it wasnt until the next morning when i checked my call history that i uncovered the truth

so after a little time i eventually end up at her house, i hang out in their den for a bit with her and her sister. They are sober and i am drunk so i take the obvious plan of action and proceed to pass out. A couple of hours go by and nicole is in bed and im still passsed out in the den and her sister is watching tv. this is when i wake up and stand up with a weird look in my eye. rachel (nicoles sister) asks me if everything is ok. I dont respond but i do however walk into their living room, unzip my pants, and proceed to relieve myself on the floor. yes. thats right. I PISSED ON THEIR LIVING ROOM FLOOR LIKE A GODDAMN DOG!! i then calmly zip up and go back to the den and pass out. rachel, by now throughly disgusted and shocked, gets up and has to leap over my piss puddle to go and wake up nicole. rachel is now shaking nicole, "your friend fucking pissed on the floor." nicole wakes up and walks into the living room seeing the disaster at hand and tries to wake me up. If any of you have been around me when ive been passed out drunk you know how futile her efforts are. the world could end and i would sleep through it in drunken bliss. so she ends up having to clean up MY PISS! wow. sometimes i wonder why shes even my friend.

sidenote- i didn't even know that i had pissed on her floor until a week after it happened when she told me.